No, it's not a miracle diet. Allow me to explain.
I have been dressing myself for close to 30 years now. I watch a lot of What Not To Wear. I like to think I dress fairly well, and I try to stay away from trends that will not work with my body shape. So why dear readers, hast my knitting forsaken me?
I put a lot of thought into choosing this pattern. I thought it would be flattering. Unlike many women, I am not pear-shaped. Quite the opposite. All of my weight is in the top. I'm upside-down pear shaped...unh...Ice cream cone shaped. I know this and I try to work with it. I was sure that the ribbed upper portion would hug the curves I like (*cough* chest) and the cabled bottom portion would round out my less than ample hips and bum.
I was SO. WRONG.
I put this on and my self esteem packs it's bags and runs out the door. I look like a big woolly sausage! A sausage with a uni-boob! Why am I posting such a terribly unflattering picture of myself on the Internet? (That's the job of my family and friends!) Because I'm shocked and amazed at how the wrong piece of knitwear can add 20lbs to your frame in 20 secs. This is what I look like under the offending wool monster:
I'm no waif, but certainly much better, no? Although, I swear I usually wear pants. (I don't consider leggings pants, contrary to what a lot of women on the street are wearing these days.)
The Drops Cable and Rib dress is destined for frogsville. What have I learned? Considering I'm thinking of casting on a new Twinkle design: absolutely nothing. The Shopping Tunic I've been hoping to knit for ages breaks all of the What Not to Wear rules for girls shaped like me:
High neck? Not for those with larger chests. Bulky knits? Only for the slight of frame. Horizontal stripes? Okay, I'd be knitting the solid version, but everybody knows the dangers of stripes, right? I just have a bad habit of falling in love with the style of something and ignoring how it may fit me. Considering the yarn was free and it's a quick knit, I might just cast it on anyway. (I'm either terribly stubborn or a terribly stupid). Stop laughing and wish me luck I won't have to post about the sausage's second coming!