Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Snowdrop the bomb

I came to an interesting revelation the other day while helping a customer at work; Vogue Knitting magazine rates their knitting patterns by level of difficulty!

How novel! Yeah, I know. This is probably news to no one but me. Most knitting patterns have rating systems, I just choose to ignore them. I suppose that says something about me. I'm either A) so fantastic I don't care what challenge may unfold or B) have my head so far up my $#! I can't heed a simple warning when it's right in front of my face. My come-uppance has come uppeth!

See that? AT SAME TIME. Three little words that can strike fear into any knitter. In the James Coviello Snowdrop Jacket I'm knitting, it appears THREE TIMES in the "left front" instructions alone! I read it through. I took heed. I prepared!

Take that At-Same-time! I wrote it all out! Line by line!

... Alas, t'was not enough. I missed a set of increases. (Son of a %*&@$!!!) If you knew the extent of the convolution (is that even a word?) you wouldn't blame me. When I got to the point where the pattern states "When all shaping is complete, 39 sts rem.", I was left with a paltry 29.

Should I have been forewarned by the the "Experienced" rating on the knitting pattern? Essentially, this piece of knitting is just an oddly shaped bit of stockinette. Increases, decreases, knitting, purling... no big woop, right? Or maybe, I should have interpreted "experienced as "I have experienced the brevity of Vogue Knitting Magazine patterns" and will take extra care.

I understand that a print publication such as Vogue needs to cram a lot of knitting instruction into a small amount of space. Sometimes though, when information is edited down to it's bare minimum, the time it takes to decipher the information seems in direct opposition to the economy of the communication in the first place. Enter: my distaste for text messaging! (I swear to god, I'm turning into a grumpy old lady before my time. Before long I will only accept correspondence handwritten by quill on parchment.)

I guess at the end of the day I'm just frustrated I had to rip back three quarters of my knitting due to my inability to properly read a knitting pattern. Gaah! I suppose it happens to even the best of us. I invite you all to shake a fist at the sky in silent protest to confusingly written knitting patterns everywhere!

What's that they say about spring showers? (Or snowdrops?)


subliminalrabbit said...

oh, how i HATE "at the same time"! evilness, i assure you!

Anonymous said...

If it's any consolation I cannot frickin wait to see this!

And I hear you about the txt msgs. Yesterday I set my pen down after an old fashioned letter writing session and tried to respond to a msg someone who obviously doesn't know me very well sent and I swear it took me half an hour to tap out one sentence.

Christie said...

AT THE SAME TIME screws me up every time.

kgirl said...

3x "at the same times" in one lot of shaping? That's not Experienced, that's Torturous!

bravo you for even contemplating.

Not fun to have to tink, though...

Sel and Poivre said...

There are few things more painful to experience than suddenly, and far too late, reading those three hideous words!!!!